Oh, the highlights of Week 1...
Let's start with the most embarrassing, shall we?
So, throughout my first week without mirrors, washing or makeup; my sweet husband has become my walking mirror. As I prepare to leave for work, I flash him a big, "eyes-squeezed-tight" smile so he can check my teeth and I hand him a few Q-tips to knock any dead skin off my face that seems to be just barely hanging on. However, on a couple of these occasions, he will notice something else.
Now, before I go any further, I'd like to say that there are definitely a few marriage-changing events in a lifetime that will dramatically alter a relationship (pregnancy, childbirth, and maybe the first time one of you decides to pee with the door open). However, I will say that what happened this week was something I would have never predicted.
Ok, so here it is...
He popped my zit. That's right, my husband is now my esthetician.
Okay, so I know it sounds nasty, but think of what this poor man is going through! If anyone is going to be honest and tell me what I really look like, it has to be him!
So apparently, I had a blemish--I say blemish because I don't want to keep typing zit over and over and feel worse about myself--and it seemed quite ready to leave me. He was so cute about it! He was looking at my skin up close and right as his eyes grazed over my chin, he said softly, "Oh..." and of course I panicked and said, "What?" He paused, and then said in almost a friendly, sing-song way, "That one's reeeadyyy."
Okay, now pause.
This week, I took it upon myself to read Stop Picking on Me, an online book meant to education severe "skin-pickers" into eventually stopping this terrible habit. To describe it quickly and efficiently, it's sort like "Red Asphalt" for pickers.
Okay, now back to my lovely blemish.
So, because I had been reading Stop Picking on Me, I was hyper-aware of the consequences of "taking action" against my chin. Without sounding too panicked, I asked if maybe by some miracle he could just lightly knock-off the top of my blemish. He began to oblige and as he rolled the Q-tip across my chin, I could actually feel the impurities come slipping right out...painlessly.
Yeah, okay, TMI, but this whole experiment is about exposure! I mean, I can't hide it under makeup, I can't examine it in a mirror, and I'm not really running my fingers across it because I'm not putting anything on it! The only way I can describe this is through feel. --and hey, it didn't feel like we were digging or doing anything detrimental to my skin, it just felt like we were releasing what needed to be released. The best part about it is we've been able to laugh a lot about this "new step" we have taken in the relationship.
Okay, moving on to less "yucky" subjects.
As far as the psychological aspects of the process, I'm finding that God is doing a huge work in me. I'm beginning to feel a certain kind of freedom that I don't think I've experienced since I was a child. It is like I know I have no control, so I can't hold onto that anymore. I do what I need to do and I accept that no matter what I look like, this is where I am right now. I'm in a process of healing and I really enjoy it.
I've also had a lot of opportunity to share with friends from work about my experiment and, in turn, a little about God. I like to slip in there that I believe in God and his design. I like to tell people I'm leaving this whole "skin debacle" up to Him because I know He has the power to deal with it much better than I can. --and amazingly, people really seem invested in this with me! I feel like God has placed a support system around me that I didn't even know I had before this! People come and ask me how it is going and ask to look at my face and I just let them right in. I feel so liberated. I don't have to hide behind this "problem" anymore. I've just opened up and let the whole world into my healing process and it honestly feels beautiful.
So here we are... one week in and so much to share. :)
See you again in a few days!
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